How I Met Your Father

    "I remember when I was your age, I wondered when would I meet that special someone. Have I met them already? Will we meet soon? What will it feel like to be completely in love with them? Will I make them happy? Well kids, those questions will one day get answered. Unfortunately, the beautiful yet frustrating part is that love is so uncertain. You don't know when or how it will all unfold, but once it does can be magical. " - Future Me

    I'm definitely in that stage of life where I can't wait to enjoy the blessings of having someone to love and to love me. But at the same time, I can wait for them because I'm sure that they are worth the wait. I can't wait to tell the story of how we met and the journey of our relationship to my friends, loved ones, and children one day. I don't feel like I have met my special person yet, but for all I know I could have. All I can do, is focus on growing as an individual and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father and with those around me. I have so many years ahead of me to be with that person, so I'm not too worried or rushed to be with them just yet. 

    Dating has changed so much throughout the years. Going on dates in 2021 is so different from going on dates in 1952. Now in days, there are several dating apps people use to meet each other or social media that allows people to connect. It also seems as though the process of dating is so different too. People will casually date multiple people and not really commit to one person. There are talking stages where people get closer but still don't have titles or situationships where things get more complicated but it still isn't considered to be a relationship. Young adults pursue each other by just "hanging out" rather than going on planned and organized "dates." The dating scene has definitely changed, but it still can lead to happy and healthy relationships that last. 

    What really is dating? Dating is getting to know someone at a deeper level and growing closer to that individual. As a couple, you have each other to rely on and you are able to support each other and help each other grow. However, how do you really get to know someone, especially when dating? VanEpp's "Know Quo" suggests that in order to know someone you need the three T's: Togetherness, Talk, and Time. Sure, you can spend time with someone as a friend to get to know them but when you spend time dating them it can be very different. I always say that you can never really know a person. The person who knows the most about you is you. Even if you've "known" someone for years, you can't possibly know everything there is to know about them and there are tons of things you can still learn about them. But that doesn't mean that you can't be close to someone. If you are together, spend meaningful time with each other, and talk about all kinds of topics, then you can get to know someone in a deeper way.

    Once you are in a relationship it is also very important to have clear priorities. According to the Relationship Attachment Model, or RAM, a healthy relationship should consist of you being able to know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. (In that order specifically). It is also important to make sure that you put more effort into the ones listed first than listed last. For instance, you should know someone more than you rely on them or commit to someone more than you touch them. If you follow this RAM, then it can potentially help you be connected with your significant other in a way that can honor both of you. 

    Relationships can truly be such a beautiful thing. Two people coming together and helping each other grow can really impact their lives. Even just having that person by your side to always lean on and have as a support system can really help you throughout life. A wise leader once told me, "Find someone who is like you or better than you." I have made it a goal to find that person who will help me become who I want to be, and who I can help in return. Never settle for someone or allow someone to hinder you from reaching your goals. You may have that special someone or you may not, but remember kids you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.