Building Closer Relationships

     What makes us feel closer to those we love or care about? What can we do, as a little something extra, for our loved ones to feel just a little bit more heard? I've always wanted to know how to do this. The answer is contact. Even people who don't really like physical contact, feel closer to someone when they make contact. It can be as simple as a tap on the arm or a hug. Contact bonds people together and makes them feel more comfortable with that person. As I have reflected about the relationships I have with those I am most close to, I realized that the people I am closest to I have contact with more. 

    Some of my favorite people are the ones who I have more physical contact with. For instance, my best friend, Alaina, and I are super close and we always hugs each other hello and goodbye. She is also very good about putting her hand on me when I'm talking to her about something that is important to me. When she does this, I feel more heard and like she cares about what I have to say. I've also noticed that since she does this with a lot of people, which tends to make them feel more comfortable with her quickly. One of my other best friends, Gio, hugs me occasionally, but he will tease me and tickle me or play with me. Although it's annoying at times, it makes me feel closer to him and reminds me of an older brother that I wish I had. I definitely feel more bonded with them and I know that contact is a big part of that. 

    A lot of children in a family setting can benefit from more contact. I remember when my little brother was a toddler, he used to always poke at me and kick me in the shins. I used to think it was to annoy me, but looking back he always wanted me to poke him back as a reaction. He always used to do this funny thing when he spoke to me where he would grab my face and turn my head to him if I wasn't looking at him. He was like, "Pay attention!" Even at a young age, he knew that contact was a way for him to receive more attention that he wanted or feel heard when sharing his funny stories. One thing I loved to do to feel closer to my little brother was tickle him. I would tickle him so much that he almost couldn't breathe anymore. It was hilarious watching his flailing arms and legs swing around as he is laughing and begging for me to stop. Once I finally would give in and stop tickling him, he would catch his breath and slowly grab my hand and put it back on his stomach. It was so funny because as much as he wanted me to stop tickling him, he also wanted me to continue. Tickling is definitely a love hate relationship. 

    Building closer relationships is so important.  Physical contact is a big part of my hispanic culture. We are big huggers and love to embrace all of our friends, relatives, and even strangers. When we have gatherings and there are people that we haven't even met yet, we still go and hug them like we would with everyone else. It really makes people for more at home and welcomed. I like to carry this with me when I am around old friends and new friends. I love bonding with people I care about and making an effort to stay close with them. I've realized that reciprocating the way people care for me can help them feel more appreciated. I want to make more of an effort to make people feel more comfortable around me through contact.